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A D V E R T I S E M E N T
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Locked in silence
Some gay athletes at
UCLA feel isolated from teammates and coaches on and off the
field
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photo illustration
by TYSON EVANS/daily bruin senior staff |
“It’s awful I have to compromise myself to
play a sport. There’s no good way to come out of the
closet. There’s just bad or worse.”
Anonymous
gay male varsity athlete at UCLA |
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| By
Adam
de Jong
DAILY BRUIN
CONTRIBUTOR
adejong@media.ucla.edu
Each day, gay and
lesbian students on campus contemplate coming out. It shouldn't be a
surprise that some are varsity athletes. Yet this group of
individuals faces a unique set of pressures.
Even at UCLA,
which prides itself on being one of the most diverse and tolerant
institutions in the country, there are gay and lesbian
student-athletes who are scared of the consequences of revealing
their sexual orientation.
Several said they are fearful they
would be the victims of verbal and physical abuse if they came out
to their teammates and coaches, and one alleged that his coach has
threatened to dismiss any openly gay athlete from his team.
"My coach has made homophobic remarks," said a gay varsity
male athlete at UCLA, who spoke on condition of anonymity. "He said
that if there were any faggots on the team he would kick them off. I
know he can't really kick anyone off the team for their sexual
orientation, but I definitely feel like I would be pressured to
leave."
Of the roughly 600 student-athletes at UCLA, most
have never witnessed incidents of homophobia involving their
teammates or coaches. But the fact that even a few gay and lesbian
Bruin athletes experience anti-gay sentiment within their respective
teams is troubling to Associate Athletic Director Petrina Long, who
oversees life skills and spoke on behalf of the athletic department.
"I am very surprised," Long said. "Any professional staff
should not be saying anything like this. You're taking one person,
but that doesn't make the inappropriate comments excusable."
While UCLA does not have a specific policy to protect its
gay and lesbian athletes from homophobia, it instead groups
sexual-orientation issues under a broader category of discrimination
that includes race, age and gender. By adopting such a general
approach, the athletic department entrusts each of its coaches with
the responsibility of handling this delicate issue on a case-by-case
basis.
Even if a coach
promotes an accepting environment, there is no guarantee that gay or
lesbian athletes will feel comfortable revealing their sexuality.
Recent studies suggest that 10 percent of the population is gay, yet
no male professional athlete in any of the four major sports is
openly gay, and no male UCLA varsity athlete interviewed for this
article is either.
The result is a group of athletes who
feel forced to hide a portion of their identities.
"It's
awful I have to compromise myself to play a sport," the anonymous
UCLA athlete said. "There's no good way to come out of the closet.
There's just bad or worse."
Is it harder for
athletes?
College is the time when most students
celebrate their individuality. For gay and lesbian athletes,
however, it's often the reverse.
One male UCLA varsity
athlete, who also wished to remain anonymous, is open with his
family and friends back home, but said that he has remained in the
closet with his Bruin teammates and coaches. Though he is tempted to
divulge his secret, the fear that his teammates might ostracize him
or even harm him physically has kept him silent.
"I could
never tell my coaches or teammates, the people who I spend more time
with than anybody else," he said. "If I came out, it would affect my
play on the team because everyone else would be thinking about it,
and I would be worried that they were thinking about it."
Experts said that the UCLA athlete's predicament is not at
all uncommon.
"On campus we see many homosexual students
that are out at UCLA, but in the closet at home with their family,"
said Ronni Sanlo, director of the UCLA Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and
Transgender Resource Center. "With athletes, it tends to be the
other way around. Their family knows about their sexuality, but they
will keep it a secret from their coaches and teammates."
The
two anonymous UCLA male athletes have numerous reasons why they are
afraid to come out to their teammates, but both said their fears
have been heightened by a slew of homophobic remarks made at
practice by coaches and teammates.
Neither is willing to
discourage such comments for fear that a response will raise
suspicion that they are gay.
"Not every player or coach is
homophobic, but they make these jokes or asinine comments as if they
don't mean anything," said the gay male athlete who alleged his
coach threatened to dismiss all gays from his team. "I cannot tell
them how obnoxious they are because they would know I'm gay, and
that would be a terrible way to come out."
"The reason
players or coaches make the homophobic remarks is because they don't
even think anyone on the team could be gay," said the second gay
male athlete quoted in this article.
Such quips, University
of Colorado at Colorado Springs sociology Professor Jay Coakley
said, are a product of male athletes reaffirming their masculinity.
Because of the dynamic of male sports, many athletes link
sexual orientation to performance, so being gay is considered a
detriment.
"If someone came out, people would associate a
stigma with him," a straight male varsity athlete at UCLA said. "All
of a sudden they wouldn't be this tough, hard-nosed player, but this
weak feminine athlete.
"It's unfortunate that's the case,
but there's not a lot of room for homosexuality or femininity (in
male sports)."
While much of society has made great strides
over the past two decades to outlaw anti-gay behavior, many experts,
such as UCLA LGBT Center official Steven Leider, agree that sports
remains one of the last bastions of homophobia. They point to the
frequent use of slurs and lack of openly gay major athletes as proof
that sports have not made the same sort of progress as other facets
of society.
But Long, who came to Westwood nine months ago
from UC Irvine, where she worked for current UCLA Athletic Director
Dan Guerrero, disagrees, characterizing the notion that sports are
worse than any other groups as a myth.
"I don't think
athletics is necessarily that separate from what you see in
society," she said. "I think athletics is probably a microcosm of
what you see elsewhere. Sports has made a lot of progress."
This is not a sentiment shared by the gay athletes
interviewed for this article.
Not only do they say they're
afraid in the huddle, on the court or in the locker room, but
because they are among the most recognizable people on campus, they
tend to keep a part of themselves hidden even in social settings.
"Being a gay athlete limits me socially because I cannot
date or even socialize with other gay men without being outed," said
the second gay male athlete quoted in this article. "While other
students are meeting people at a party or just relaxing with
friends, I have to constantly worry about what people think.
Sometimes I wish that someone on my team would just find out that I
(am) gay so I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore."
UCLA against the rest
Homophobia, by no
means, is unique to UCLA.
In fact, even the Bruin athletes
who have been the victims of alleged discrimination suggested that
the climate for gay and lesbian student-athletes is far better in
Westwood than it is at most other institutions.
"The reality
is that while homophobia exists on my team, it is not nearly as bad
at UCLA as it is other places," said the gay male student-athlete
who alleged that his coach threatened to dismiss all gays from the
team.
"All you have to do is look at Bruin Walk to realize
how ridiculously (politically correct) the school is. If there's
homophobia here, it must be much worse in other parts of the
country."
The examples of homophobic incidents at other
institutions are numerous.
The University of Hawai'i changed
the name and logo of its football team from the Rainbow Warriors to
the Warriors in 2000 because of the association with the gay rainbow
flag.
The USC marching band reportedly taunted UCLA by
playing the notes F, A and G in successive order at football games
as recently as 2000.
And North Carolina State had to
apologize in February 2004 after men's basketball player Scooter
Sherrill noted that Duke's JJ Redick holds his hand up on the
follow-through of his shot "like he's gay or something."
Perhaps the most egregious recent homophobic incident in
college sports occurred at the University of Florida in 2003, where
former softball player Andrea Zimbardi was allegedly dropped from
the team in her senior season because she is a lesbian.
The
school settled the case in court with Zimbardi, agreeing to include
a sexual-orientation component in its non-discrimination policy and
provide diversity training dealing with homophobia to all its
coaches and administrators.
UCLA, like most other schools
that have not experienced such a public crisis, does not have as
strong a policy in place. The athletic department has no formal
guidelines for dealing with homophobia, Long said, besides a clause
in its code of conduct for coaches, which states that "they are
expected to avoid any exploitation, harassment or discriminatory
treatment of student-athletes."
If student-athletes have a
problem related to their sexual preference, Long said, they know
they can consult coaches, counselors or even administrators. But no
aspect of the athletic department manual specifically mentions how
coaches or administrators should handle issues of sexual
orientation, although Long said those problems would be classified
under sexual harassment.
Such a broad policy has left some
athletes at UCLA unsure of whom to turn to when they encounter
homophobia.
"If I were a lesbian," said a straight female
athlete at UCLA who wished to remain anonymous, "I wouldn't know
where to turn to within the athletic department for help."
The consensus among the Bruin athletes interviewed, however,
is that the climate at UCLA for gay and lesbian athletes is better
than at most schools.
"Every girl that I know (who's) a
lesbian out on a team (at UCLA) has had no issues," the straight
female athlete said.
"I have a friend who came out after
college. She said it had nothing to do with the environment. The
first people she told were her teammates, and her friendships with
the team have not changed at all."
The role of a
coach
As Pat Griffin, an openly lesbian professor of
social justice education at the University of Massachusetts, sat in
a booth to promote tolerance at the NCAA Women's Final Four just
last week, she witnessed a strange phenomenon from the coaches in
attendance.
While some coaches had no trepidation of talking
to Griffin, others did all they could to stay away from her.
"Some coaches got whiplash just looking away from the
booth," Griffin said. "That's a sign of backing down. Plenty are
still not comfortable with being associated with lesbians or
thinking they might be lesbians."
As the bridge between the
student-athletes and the athletic department, coaches are
responsible for creating a positive atmosphere to govern their teams
that is reflective of their school's code of conduct.
But
according to Coakley, coaches and the environment they foster are
the lifeline of a gay or lesbian athlete's support system, tipping
the balance for whether an athlete would feel comfortable coming out
of the closet.
"What encourages an athlete to come out is
tied to what the athlete perceives the coach's position to be,"
Coakley said. "That's crucial. It also helps if there's some sort of
institutional structure that provides support and legitimacy."
Six years ago, UCLA women's basketball coach Kathy Olivier
was confronted by some of her players about a burgeoning issue
regarding a teammate's sexuality. Olivier's players were not
concerned that a fellow teammate was lesbian, but the perception
that the particular individual was being isolated from the team
because of the brooding silence. To combat the issue, Olivier held a
team meeting in which she brought the topic of diversity out into
the open.
"We talked about dealing with diversity in a lot
of ways, not just race," Olivier said. "Every coach has their own
way of dealing with it differently."
UCLA men's and women's
water polo coach Adam Krikorian does not even see a
student-athlete's sexual orientation as an issue that he needs to
delve into, choosing instead to look at his players solely in terms
of their athletic ability.
"I don't make judgments like
that, I just look at someone's water polo ability," Krikorian said.
"I don't think (sexual orientation) is this big hidden issue. There
are so many different characteristics with so many different players
and athletes. It could be their homosexuality, their home life; they
could have personal issues, drug or alcohol abuse."
Yet
there are far more athletes who publicly admit to alcohol or drug
abuse problems than homosexuality. That, Coakley said, is a product
of coaches not doing enough to combat the perception that homophobia
exists within their programs.
Team v. individual
sports
Because of the different dynamics involved, the
nature of a sport can affect athletes in their decision to reveal
their sexual identity. The need to form a cohesive unit in team
sports has led athletes to keep hidden what they might otherwise
disclose in individual sports.
"If I were to tell my team
that I (am) gay, I am confident that I would regret it for the rest
of my time spent in college," said one of the gay male
student-athletes, who is open about his sexuality with his family
and others.
"There's something about a team sport that makes
it impossible to be openly gay."
Uncomfortable with the
reaction their homosexuality might yield from teammates or coaches,
these gay athletes have opted to stay in the closet. Rather than run
the risk of getting stereotyped or verbally assaulted, they have
looked to blend in with the societal expectations of a male sports
figure.
"Because of stupid, homophobic remarks by teammates,
I am scared to tell anyone here at UCLA that I am gay," the gay male
student-athlete said. "I think I might be physically harmed or just
roughhoused on the field."
Conversely, gay athletes in
individual sports generally need not worry about abuse from
teammates. David Kopay, who became the first professional football
player to come out in 1975 after playing 10 seasons in the NFL,
feels that athletes in individual sports are more sheltered from any
potential criticism.
"The individual can compete and train
on his or her own and nobody can really blame their sexuality on the
results," Kopay said. "On team sports, there's a heightened
homophobia because of all the time spent together and physical
contact."
This homophobia in the team atmosphere was a major
reason why Kopay waited until retirement to come out about his
sexual identity. Playing during a period in which anti-gay sentiment
was commonplace and societal expectations of male athletes were
firmly entrenched, the running back was too scared to come to terms
with his sexuality during his athletic career.
"The problem
was that I bought into other people's stereotypes," said Kopay, who
was passed over for coaching positions later in life because of his
"lifestyle."
"People involved in sports tend not to be as
sophisticated and don't want to create any distractions. The
players, especially, are treated as nameless, faceless soldiers who
are supposed to win. Viewing them as human or different than the
rest will not sit well with coaches, owners or fans," Kopay said.
While the relationship with fans or opponents is universal
to all sports, only team sports involve tight-knit relationships
between teammates. Kopay believes when learning of a team member's
homosexuality, straight players may feel threatened and begin to
question their sexuality.
"They'll ask themselves, 'Well, he
isn't a sissy. If he is gay, what does that make me?'" Kopay said.
"Of course, that is ridiculous at the surface level, but
many of these unspoken fears in the sports world become much more
exaggerated on a team sport."
Not an exclusive club
While most athletes are not open with their homosexuality at
the varsity level, those who participate at the club or recreational
level appear more willing to come out.
But that does not
necessarily mean they have always been welcomed with open arms. UCLA
graduate Jason Seagle remembers that when he was part of an
intramural football league three years ago, some of his teammates
were not comfortable with playing on an IM team with a "gay guy."
Upon hearing that a few of them were going to quit the team because
of his sexuality, Seagle quit.
"I decided that I would just
stop playing on the team rather than break it up because I was kind
of embarrassed and disgusted by what happened," Seagle said.
"I just thought it was ridiculous that even on an IM
football team it was controversial."
Given his experiences
in a very casual intramural setting, Seagle said he is not shocked
that a few UCLA student-athletes have been subjected to homophobic
remarks.
"If it was like that on an IM team, just imagine
how bad it must be for a gay person on a major college sports team,"
Seagle said. "What's sad is that UCLA might be the most PC place in
the country. It has to be worse at other places for athletes."
For most club and IM athletes, sexuality does not appear as
hushed a topic as it is at the varsity level. An anonymous lesbian
on a women's club sport, who has not revealed her sexual preference
to her team, feels she would not be shunned if she did, but
nevertheless prefers to keep her sexuality private.
"I
decided that my sexual orientation was not something I was compelled
to tell my team because I find straight players are not sitting with
their coaches or teammates aside and telling them they are
heterosexual," she said. "I don't keep it a secret. I just do not
make an issue of it."
The future
Everyone
interviewed for this article expressed optimism about the future
treatment of gays and lesbians in sports. Athletes, coaches and
experts alike believe that homophobia has waned significantly in the
past couple decades, a trend they feel will continue.
Long
is evaluating UCLA's policies and said she will consider making
changes if she finds them necessary.
In the meantime,
athletes are still faced with tough decisions, but many in athletics
believe the consequences for coming out won't be as severe in the
future.
"It's happened in most sports, sometimes quietly and
sometimes more at the high school level," Coakley said. "More people
are coming out, and in more cases than many predicted, they're
receiving support."
With reports from Jeff Eisenberg, Bryan Chu, Andrew Finley and
Seth Fast Glass, Bruin Sports senior
staff.
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